More Myths about Autism:

‘Autistic individuals always say what they think / or what they want to say’

There is a common misconception that autistic individuals always say exactly what they think or want to say. This belief suggests that if an autistic person uses verbal language, they always communicate their true thoughts or desires. However, this assumption can be frustrating and misleading, particularly for autistic children and adults who experience problems with both receptive and expressive language. This includes those who are echolalic as well as some who are fluent speakers.

The ability to speak—whether minimally verbal or fluently—does not necessarily mean that what is spoken accurately reflects what the person wanted to express. Consider the experiences of Naoki Higashida (2008), who sometimes manages to say a few words, but they may come out as the exact opposite of what he intended. This occurs because those words might be the only ones he can access at that moment—often words he frequently uses or that have left a lasting impression on him. He expresses his frustration in writing:

"Please don’t assume that every single word we say is what we intended… I can never say what I really want to. Instead, verbal junk that hasn’t got anything to do with anything comes from my mouth. This used to get me down badly, and I couldn’t help envying all those people who speak without even trying. Our feelings are the same as everyone else’s, but we can’t find a way to express them."

Even individuals with high-functioning autism who can communicate fluently may struggle to express themselves accurately. They might unintentionally say the opposite of what they mean or feel lost for words. For example:

"When asked ‘What is it you want?’, my first answer was ‘I don’t know’ (though I did know but couldn’t connect or access it). My mind ran amok with stored evasive responses. I wanted to say ‘a pottery wheel,’ but the stored picture that came to mind first was from a category of ‘things we couldn’t have.’ Instead of saying ‘pottery wheel,’ I blurted out ‘cat.’ When that response was checked, I again wished to say ‘pottery wheel,’ but the stored picture that came to mind was from a category of ‘things we already had in our house,’ and I said ‘ironing board.’ There was no way that I wanted an ironing board or a cat… I had been preparing a pottery shed for the past weeks and was thinking of a pottery wheel but was totally unable to express that want without being prompted or triggered to do so." (Williams 1996)

Even straightforward "Yes" or "No" questions can be challenging, with responses sometimes contradicting the individual's true desires. For instance:

Support Staff: Nika, do you want to go swimming tomorrow?

Nika (a young woman with HF autism): Yeah.

S: Nika, you don’t have to. Do you want to go swimming tomorrow, or (emphatically) do you want to stay in?

N (perhaps thinking she gave the ‘wrong’ answer the first time, or simply repeating the last words of the question.): Stay in.

Sometimes in certain social settings, some individuals (particularly those with ASD-1) may find themselves unintentionally saying things they did not intend to say. When these individuals are in conversation, they may struggle to control what comes out of their mouth, even when they realise it’s not appropriate for the situation. They might think to themselves, “I shouldn’t say this, I need to stop!”) but they are unable to do so. One person who has experienced this described it as:

“My tongue is my enemy. I’ve gotten into trouble so many times just because I couldn’t keep quiet, even though I knew my communication partners wouldn't like what I was saying and would misunderstand (and misinterpret) it."

Some ASD individuals don’t know that they are saying the wrong thing until they hear themselves saying it.

These examples illustrate that communication for some autistic individuals is not always straightforward, and it’s important to understand that what they say may not always reflect their true thoughts or intentions.